Saturday, May 30, 2015
Friday, May 29, 2015
Why We Love to Bitch
Bosses often make the big mistake of allowing employees to feel that their jobs are not secure, assuming this insecurity will motivate them to work harder. When in fact, it makes them much less productive because they live in fear and crisis mode.
When uncertainty has you rattled, you may engage in any of the following behaviors to increase some brain chemicals, but the benefits are short-lived. If you complain to other coworkers about how bad your company or boss is, those who agree with you will make you feel safer and more connected because of serotonin and oxytocin. If you put the government or world leaders down, predicting doom and gloom, you make the world feel predictable, releasing some serotonin. Even making false predictions about the future will make you feel superior. If you like to get fired up and debate or argue about life events, you will release dopamine. Misery doesn’t just love company; it needs it! It allows us to crawl on our knees, bleeding and bruised, side by side, and feel that it’s us against them…whoever “them” is at the time. Next time you are waiting in line in a public place, see how long it takes for someone to make eye contact with you and roll their eyes, as if to say, “Do you believe this?”Eventually someone else might either speak up with sarcasm or make some kind of disgruntled noise, and then for a moment or two you will all feel better.
http://www.amazon.com/Wired-Worry-Neuroscience-Will-Help/dp/B00X9LVLOQ/ref=tmm_aud_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1427747166&sr=1-1
#beliefs #stopstressing #behappy #happiness #happiness #anger #moodiness #amygdala #dopamine #serotonin #oxytocin #feelbetter #stopworrying #eckhartTolle #present #rejection #amygdala #emotions #perspectives #temper #sad #outburst #fury #mad #stressreduction #reduceanxiety #procrastinator #disappointments # letdown
Thursday, May 28, 2015
Why You Can’t Stop a Tantrum
Did you ever hear a child screaming bloody murder in a public place and the parents act as if they barely notice. It’s because they know they can’t reason with their child at that point, and such is the case for adults when under the control of their lizard brain. As a chemical fire storm transpires in our brain, all common sense is put on hold, we behave like that child; act out and think unreasonably.
The newest part of our brain the prefrontal cortex, ideally should enable us to over ride our lizard brain and be calm and reasonable in the face of problems and disappointments. However, that takes maturity and our brains aren’t even fully developed until we are about twenty-seven years old. By that time we are pretty adept at allowing our rage and frustration to over take us. This prefrontal cortex is our awareness system; it is where we decide, plan, and make responsible choices. I referred to it earlier as our “head office” This is what gives us the capacity to think out into the future, back into the past and then evaluate both to make sense of the present.
Right now the one who is in charge of your behavior/feeling center is your back office, not your newer reasonable thinking front office as you might hope. In my book I teach you how to switch the control over to the thinking part of your brain so you no longer have to feel like you are possessed because some idiot just flipped you off. (But I don hope that idiot is reading this so we can all behave better)
http://www.amazon.com/Wired-Worry-Neuroscience-Will-Help/dp/B00X9LVLOQ/ref=tmm_aud_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1427747166&sr=1-1
#beliefs #stopstressing #behappy #happiness #happiness #anger #moodiness #amygdala #dopamine #serotonin #oxytocin #feelbetter #stopworrying #eckhartTolle #present #rejection #amygdala #emotions #perspectives #temper #sad #outburst #fury #mad #stressreduction #reduceanxiety #procrastinator #disappointments # letdown
Wednesday, May 27, 2015
Do You Throw Tantrums?
When anger does overtake you, always remember that you are almost never upset for the reason you think you are. Only after you calm down will you see the truth, and it will almost always have its root in some kind of fear. I suggest to clients that when anger rises, they should stop and ask, “What am I afraid of right now?” Common fears are those of embarrassment, rejection, loss, and danger. Getting to that root will always put things in perspective.
When you get upset, your brain knows that you need something at that moment, so you may experience a hundred images in seconds, giving rise to anger, frustration, self-pity, and loneliness that support and validate your current belief about the situation. This can happen quickly especially when you are disappointed by someone close to you. The next time someone does something to upset you, see if you can spot how many “blaming” memories flood in to validate your outrage toward this person. You will have to be fast because the memories will be there in under a second yelling, “Pick me! Hey, over here! I can prove he did that on purpose. I can show you that she doesn’t really care.” Next thing you know, you become angrier at the person than the situation warrants, and when pressed for a reason, you will probably bark, “Because you always do this!” Your brain is programmed to ignore any information that would disprove your violated feelings. It does this to protect you.
http://www.amazon.com/Wired-Worry-Neuroscience-Will-Help/dp/B00X9LVLOQ/ref=tmm_aud_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1427747166&sr=1-1
#beliefs #stopstressing #behappy #happiness #happiness #anger #moodiness #amygdala #dopamine #serotonin #oxytocin #feelbetter #stopworrying #eckhartTolle #present #rejection #amygdala #emotions #perspectives #temper #sad #outburst #fury #mad #stressreduction #reduceanxiety #procrastinator #disappointments # letdown
Tuesday, May 26, 2015
STOP Being Let Down!
Before disappointment strikes, you must be vigilant in reminding yourself that setting your hopes on one particular event or occurrence is dangerous, unnecessary, and misleading. No event will make you happy forever! Everything is transient and passes. The most subtle ones are those we expect in the course of our day, such as getting to work on time, having no traffic, having the computer work, or having the bus be on time. All are setups for disappointment.
Now, of course, you don’t want to expect bad things to happen, but you can’t forget that life is unpredictable. If you have personal expectations, it will feel like a personal attack when things don’t go your way, and you will fly into anger. Let me make this simple—Don’t cling to outcomes. Before I leave the house, I remind myself that regardless of what my to-do list says, anything is possible today. Beginning your day with expectations is like shoving a ticking time bomb into your pocket. It is only a matter of time before it blows.
Do the following reactions sound familiar? “Nice blinker, idiot!” “This stupid computer!” “Crap, it’s only three o’clock.” “Why is everyone driving like an ass?” “OMG, the Internet is so slow today!”
These reactions are as helpful as throwing your shoe at the clouds because it is raining on your day off! You are personalizing all of these random events. Such reactions also cut you off from seeing just how amazing life is around you. Stay present to these ridiculous, hidden beliefs that will do their best to wreck your day before it starts. When you walk out the door, remind yourself that although you intend to do this or that, anything can happen. Doing this disarms your amygdala, which is always on the lookout for things not going according to your plan. So take your plan (expectation) off the table. Your amygdala is different from that of the next person; whatever you believe should or shouldn’t happen is what it will try to protect, so only you can take down the beliefs/expectations that trigger it to begin with.
http://www.amazon.com/Wired-Worry-Neuroscience-Will-Help/dp/B00X9LVLOQ/ref=tmm_aud_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1427747166&sr=1-1
#beliefs #stopstressing #behappy #happiness #happiness #anger #moodiness #amygdala #dopamine #serotonin #oxytocin #feelbetter #stopworrying #eckhartTolle #present #rejection #amygdala #emotions #perspectives #temper #sad #outburst #fury #mad #stressreduction #reduceanxiety #procrastinator #disappointments # letdown
Thursday, May 21, 2015
Are You Shallow Because You Care About Your Looks?
If any part of your body bothers you can assume that your belief is subtly affecting your mood. Most hate to admit this because it seems a bit shallow, but that is our reality. Evolution has hardwired it into our brain that to be desired ensures our survival, and to be desired means to have the right looks, money and sex appeal. Hence, our obsession with the rich and famous. By addressing any subtle beliefs about your looks under the scrutiny of facts, you can alleviate the cringe factor.
The Power of Our Physical Insecurity
Subtle beliefs such as “my hair looks so bad today,” “I look so much older being bald,” or “I wish my teeth weren’t so crooked” can leave us with an underlying insecurity. If you are over 45 and are beginning to feel that your body is really showing it, you might be hearing more of these thoughts than ever before. It is like a problem that you can’t put your finger on. For me, I have to remind myself to adjust my perspective to the facts. Another way to remedy these relentless thoughts is to allow nice compliments about your looks or body to really soak in. Don’t play it down or dismiss it. Remind yourself that people are not saying something nice to you out of pity, even though your stupid amygdala may be telling you that.
Too Busy to read download my new book from audible.com
http://www.amazon.com/Wired-Worry-Neuroscience-Will-Help/dp/B00X9LVLOQ/ref=tmm_aud_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1427747166&sr=1-1
#beliefs #stopstressing #behappy #happiness #happiness #anger #moodiness #amygdala #dopamine #serotonin #oxytocin #feelbetter #stopworrying #eckhartTolle #present #opinions #amygdala #emotions #perspectives #temper #rage, #outburst #fury #rage #stressreduction #reduceanxiety #procrastinator #looks #hair #body
Wednesday, May 20, 2015
Why Are You In A Bad Mood?
Yesterday I left off explaining what a mood is now I will explain where they can can from. When you find you are in “mood” you may be able to rattle off a list of problems as to why, but it is actually the thoughts/beliefs about those problems that lead your mood down the dark tunnel. Unaware, you might suddenly snap at someone who asks a benign question or fly into a rage when the driver in front of you can’t make up their mind. But the real reason you get angry may be that you were still thinking about the argument you had with your spouse that morning.
Yesterday I found myself battling a mood. I tried to blow it off and move on but I should know better by now. I needed to do some investigating. What was stirring the pot for me was I had received my credit card bill. A whopper of over $1600! What did I buy? ….AIR apparently because I could see no luxury item, no fun new toy, no new clothes, as I looked around my house and I guess air was going at a premium last month! UHG! I had no plans of this. But it was life stuff the kind of things that nickel and dime you into poverty. By not addressing this on a conscious level from the “front office” I was stuck in the “back office” being chewed out for not paying more attention, and not knowing where I would pull those funds from to pay the bill. Once I wrote down my pan the berating stopped and I was ready to move forward.
The amygdala is evaluating all thoughts and situations throughout the day, triggering both big and small warnings. We have learned throughout the years to dismiss the small warnings by simply pushing them away, like I was trying to do not taking the time to shine the light of reality on them. So over the course of a day, these small ones gang up on us leaving us in a really crappy mood by the time dinner rolls around. Everything from feeling ignored in a meeting to having someone talk to you abruptly or having your boss give you less than his usual big smile can have your amygdala sounding the sirens.
The muddy waters of emotions
Emotional moments are always a thought away. Like I have been saying, real or imagined, any thought can cause an emotional upheaval and during that time, your thoughts do not represent an accurate picture of the truth, the past or future. There are two ways an emotion is triggered. A thought may trigger an emotion, and the emotion makes us believe the thought was a fact. The second way is without words or thoughts; your limbic system (emotional area of your brain) evaluates a situation that does not seem favorable to you. In either case, the stress hormone cortisol is released, you feel bad, and then you try to find reasons that validate your emotion. We feel better when we know why something happens, even if we have to conjure up some plausible reason, and those reasons, are always are determined by our perspective. Feeling bad is your “check reality light.” It means a thought is being allowed to stand as a fact. You can’t allow that without confirming its reality first.
Too Busy to read download my new book from audible.com
http://www.amazon.com/Wired-Worry-Neuroscience-Will-Help/dp/B00X9LVLOQ/ref=tmm_aud_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1427747166&sr=1-1
#beliefs #stopstressing #behappy #happiness #happiness #anger #moodiness #amygdala #dopamine #serotonin #oxytocin #feelbetter #stopworrying #eckhartTolle #present #opinions #amygdala #emotions #perspectives #temper #rage, #outburst #fury #rage #stressreduction #reduceanxiety #procrastinator
Tuesday, May 19, 2015
Why Are You In A Bad Mood?
Yesterday I left off explaining what a mood is now I will explain where they can can from. When you find you are in “mood” you may be able to rattle off a list of problems as to why, but it is actually the thoughts/beliefs about those problems that lead your mood down the dark tunnel. Unaware, you might suddenly snap at someone who asks a benign question or fly into a rage when the driver in front of you can’t make up their mind. But the real reason you get angry may be that you were still thinking about the argument you had with your spouse that morning.
The amygdala is evaluating all thoughts and situations throughout the day, triggering both big and small warnings. We have learned throughout the years to dismiss the small warnings by simply pushing them away, not taking the time to shine the light of reality on them. So over the course of a day, these small ones gang up on us leaving us in a really crappy mood by the time dinner rolls around. Everything from feeling ignored in a meeting to having someone talk to you abruptly or having your boss give you less than his usual big smile can have your amygdala sounding the sirens.
The muddy waters of emotions
Emotional moments are always a thought away. Like I have been saying, real or imagined, any thought can cause an emotional upheaval and during that time, your thoughts do not represent an accurate picture of the truth, the past or future. There are two ways an emotion is triggered. A thought may trigger an emotion, and the emotion makes us believe the thought was a fact. The second way is without words or thoughts; your limbic system (emotional area of your brain) evaluates a situation that does not seem favorable to you. In either case, the stress hormone cortisol is released, you feel bad, and then you try to find reasons that validate your emotion. We feel better when we know why something happens, even if we have to conjure up some plausible reason, and those reasons, are always are determined by our perspective. Feeling bad is your “check reality light.” It means a thought is being allowed to stand as a fact. You can’t allow that without confirming its reality first.
Too Busy to read download my new book from audible.com
http://www.amazon.com/Wired-Worry-Neuroscience-Will-Help/dp/B00X9LVLOQ/ref=tmm_aud_title_0?ie=UTF8&qid=1427747166&sr=1-1
#beliefs #stopstressing #behappy #happiness #happiness #anger #moodiness #amygdala #dopamine #serotonin #oxytocin #feelbetter #stopworrying #eckhartTolle #present #opinions #amygdala #emotions #perspectives #temper #rage, #outburst #fury #rage #stressreduction #reduceanxiety #procrastinator
Monday, May 18, 2015
Do People Say You’re Moody?
Do people accuse you of being moody? Do you even really understand what a mood is? It is not that you are in B____CH mode necessarily. A mood can be good or bad or somewhere in between. It is your basic state of mind at the moment. What triggers them or creates has been more of a mystery for most people. It can originate from the emotions and feelings that stem from our thoughts and beliefs about the moment we are in or it can originate from week old crap. Stuff we can no longer do anything about like an argument with your kid or a comment from a friend, a mistake you made at work. Other triggers are over events that may or may not ever occur from our hypothetical future. My point is that typically it is often something NOT happening in the present moment. These emotions or feelings can show up in obvious or subtle ways. The subtle emotions are often the ones that sneak up on us and make us moody. Normally, we tend not to notice or recognize background feelings because they are triggered by memories or fears just floating around under the surface of our consciousness.
When you say, “I am not in a good mood,” you refer to the background feelings of sorrow, unhappiness, unease, fear, or frustration. These feelings can manipulate your behavior because you are so unaware of them, and they can be the most dangerous. When someone barks, “Leave me alone; I am in a bad mood!” The person may as well be saying, “Something is pissing me off, and I have no freaking idea what it is!” Although we will all try to inflate some issue so people don’t think we are nuts. Tomorrow we will dive more into the triggers so you can stop them.
Too Busy to read download my new book from audible.com
http://www.audible.com/search/ref=a_mn_mt_ano_tseft__galileo?advsearchKeywords=Wired+to+worry&x=0&y=0
#beliefs #stopstressing #behappy #happiness #happiness #anger #moodiness #amygdala #dopamine #serotonin #oxytocin #feelbetter #stopworrying #eckhartTolle #present #opinions #amygdala #emotions #perspectives #temper #rage, #outburst #fury #rage #stressreduction #reduceanxiety #procrastinator #procrastination #fear #excitement #thrill #storms
Saturday, May 16, 2015
Beauty May Be in The Eye of the Beholder, But So Are Problems
Understand this fact: it is your perspective that will determine if something is good or bad. “It’s never the problem; the issue is how you SEE the problem”. Your happiness will be a result of choices you make to see the world in a certain way. And we make those choices within every second. This is why so many studies repeatedly prove that 90 percent of our problems stem from how we see things. The philosophical question “Is the glass half full or half empty?” Does not do justice to the power of perspective. The simple truth is that events happen—what makes them bad or good is simply what you decide to think or believe about them.
That can be hard to swallow; we want our anger and frustration validated, not debunked as a figment of our perception! Most of us have been building stories for years around why things happened. “Why me?” “I hate my life; nothing ever goes right!” These beliefs are as deadly to our mental health as a daily diet of bacon is to our body! If this is you, the good news is that you will be able to feel much better just get my new book and learn how to control how your mind works.
#beliefs #stopstressing #behappy #happiness #happiness #anger #moodiness #amygdala #dopamine #serotonin #oxytocin #feelbetter #stopworrying #eckhartTolle #present #opinions #amygdala #emotions #perspectives #temper #rage, #outburst #fury #rage #stressreduction #reduceanxiety #procrastinator #procrastination #fear #excitement #thrill #storms
Thursday, May 14, 2015
Wired To Eat For All The Wrong Reasons
My blog in Psychology Today
Wired To Eat For All The Wrong Reasons
If you have ever been frustrated with breaking your diet protocols with something unhealthy you will finally understand why after reading this.
#diet #dieting #dietproblems #eatingproblems #eatingthewrongfoods#overweight #cravings #foodcravings #keepingyourdiet #overweight
Wednesday, May 13, 2015
Turning Those We Love Into Our Enemies
As you are coming to understand our amygdala is the root of our over reactions toward setbacks, comments, and even a weird look from a stranger. Even having a simple disagreement with someone can switch the amygdala to the fight-or-flight position. You enter into a discussion in which you expect the person to agree with you. Then when the person doesn’t, cortisol releases, causing an immediate shutting down of reasonable thinking and processing. Cortisol interrupts the prefrontal cortex as it tells your brain, “Your life is in danger; this is no time to be thinking!” So you raise your voice, yell, and take on aggressive body posture. Your whole body is reacting as if the other person is a threat to your life. This is why arguments rarely prove fruitful and is why discussing topics such as religion and politics is so dangerous. Never forget that no one wants to hear what you think unless you agree with them. So save your breath and your energy.
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS BOUGHT MY BOOK Why We Are Wired to Worry and How Neuroscience Will Help You Fix It THIS WEEK OR DOES SO BETWEEN NOW AND SUNDAY AT MIDNIGHT I WILL SEND YOU A CODE TO GIVE YOU THE AUDIOBOOK VERSION AS WELL FOR FREE. JUST PRIVATE MESSAGE ME A PICTURE OF YOUR RECEIPT AND I WILL SEND YOU THE CODE. MAYBE THERE IS SOMEONE WHO YOU KNOW REALLY NEEDS TO HEAR IT! Limited to the first 15 responders
#beliefs #stopstressing #behappy #happiness #happiness #anger #moodiness #amygdala #dopamine #serotonin #oxytocin #feelbetter #stopworrying #eckhartTolle #present #opinions #amygdala #emotions #perspectives #temper #rage, #outburst #fury #rage #stressreduction #reduceanxiety #procrastinator #procrastination #fear #excitement #thrill #storms
Sunday, May 10, 2015
The Thrill of Potential Threats
Not only is our brain obsessed with finding negativity around us but it has varied ways of dealing with it as well. Like when a bad storm in predicted. It is obvious how people suddenly seem more connected, looking to talk to complete strangers about the latest update. Very seldom will you see people disinterested, although you may hear someone play the whole event down as they take shots at the weathermen. There is no denying that people seem buzzed. We are driven to this place of excitement due to our dopamine levels surging to help us better prepare. We may refer to it as feeling pumped up. This is the drive behind running to the store and stock piling water, bread, milk and snow shovels as if the ones we have at home some how won’t be enough. When we get home we get a wonderful blast of serotonin which tells us we are safe and secure. We know it makes little sense but we are like little druggies chasing those feel good brain chemicals.
If you have experienced this you may have wondered if you have been a sociopath in hiding all this time, secretly enjoying the thrill of possible danger. Have you ever prepared for a 6 foot blizzard only to wake up and see only 6 inches? Even if you hate snow there is a weird sense of let down. Well you aren’t crazy or a statist it is because your dopamine levels dropped back because there was nothing to prepare you for and that feels crummy. The other reason is we human beings find solace in feeling like we know our future. Good or bad, it gives our life a sense of predictability, making us feel somewhat more secure and stable, and that releases serotonin. The next time a storm if predicted know that even if people are complaining that deep inside we are all filled with excitement and buzz although we try to hide it.
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS BOUGHT MY BOOK Why We Are Wired to Worry and How Neuroscience Will Help You Fix It THIS WEEK OR DOES SO BETWEEN NOW AND SUNDAY AT MIDNIGHT I WILL SEND YOU A CODE TO GIVE YOU THE AUDIOBOOK VERSION AS WELL FOR FREE. JUST PRIVATE MESSAGE ME A PICTURE OF YOUR RECEIPT ADN I WILL SEND YOU THE CODE. MAYBE THERE IS SOMEONE WHO YOU KNOW REALLY NEEDS TO HEAR IT! Limited to the first 15 responders
#beliefs #stopstressing #behappy #happiness #happiness #anger #moodiness #amygdala #dopamine #serotonin #oxytocin #feelbetter #stopworrying #eckhartTolle #present #opinions #amygdala #emotions #perspectives #temper #rage, #outburst #fury #rage #stressreduction #reduceanxiety #procrastinator #procrastination #fear #excitement #thrill #storms
Saturday, May 9, 2015
Are You a Procrastinator or the ANTI Procrastinator?
Just as we are all different from one other, so are our cravings. The same situation can make two people react very differently. For example, playing the slots at a casino will give some people a hit of dopamine in anticipation of a win. For others it triggers cortisol/anxiety because they anticipate a loss.
Two siblings are dreading a big report soon due at school. At the mere thought of starting it, both feel anxious. But one will avoid it and procrastinate, putting off the anxiety. The other child, although anxious, knows that completing the project will alleviate her anxiety, and the thought of that triggers dopamine, so that child starts the project right away. If you are a parent it can help seeing much of your children’s behavior from this standpoint as it will aid you greatly in understanding them not to mention helping them to understand themselves.
For the past ten thousand years, the threat of danger had more impact on our survival than good experiences; therefore, our amygdala was primed to label most experiences as dangerous and has continued to do so right up until present day. We were built to last, not for lasting happiness, which is why we learn faster from pain than from pleasure. Each time something happens that we don’t like, cortisol magnifies the feeling, embedding it into our memory as a threat of some kind.
For example, your boss gives you a stellar review, but at the very end, he says, “The only thing I would like to see improved is_______.” Yet after your meeting, all your brain focuses on is the one thing he wants you to improve.
We all tend to do this, regardless of the feedback or the source of it. The brain digs out the negative comment; sometimes it may even dig through a positive one and think, “Hmm, but what was he really trying to say?” We tell ourselves that we do this because we just want to improve but that is contrived crap! The real reason we do it is that the brain interprets any slightly negative feedback from another person as us being at risk for being “kicked out of the tribe.”
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS BOUGHT MY BOOK Why We Are Wired to Worry and How Neuroscience Will Help You Fix It THIS WEEK OR DOES SO BETWEEN NOW AND SUNDAY AT MIDNIGHT I WILL SEND YOU A CODE TO GIVE YOU THE AUDIOBOOK VERSION AS WELL FOR FREE. JUST PRIVATE MESSAGE ME A PICTURE OF YOUR RECEIPT ADN I WILL SEND YOU THE CODE. MAYBE THERE IS SOMEONE WHO YOU KNOW REALLY NEEDS TO HEAR IT! Limited to the first 15 responders
#beliefs #stopstressing #behappy #happiness #happiness #anger #moodiness #amygdala #dopamine #serotonin #oxytocin #feelbetter #stopworrying #eckhartTolle #present #opinions #amygdala #emotions #perspectives #temper #rage, #outburst #fury #rage #stressreduction #reduceanxiety #procrastinator #procrastination
Friday, May 8, 2015
FREE Audio Version of my BOOK!
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS BOUGHT MY BOOK Why We Are Wired to Worry and How Neuroscience Will Help You Fix It THIS WEEK OR DOES SO BETWEEN NOW AND SUNDAY AT MIDNIGHT I WILL SEND YOU A CODE TO GIVE YOU THE AUDIOBOOK VERSION AS WELL FOR FREE.J UST PRIVATE MESSAGE ME A PICTURE OF YOUR RECEIPT AND I WILL SEND YOU THE CODE. MAYBE THERE IS SOMEONE WHO YOU KNOW REALLY NEEDS TO HEAR IT! Limited to the first 15 responders
http://www.amazon.com/Wired-Worry-Neuroscience-Will-Help/dp/1508616272/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1427747166&sr=1-1&keywords=Why+Wired+Worry
Thursday, May 7, 2015
Do You Think Like an Addict? Yep We All Do!
We human beings are just like addicts, making decisions from one moment to the next based on 2 questions: What will give me the greatest amount of pleasure right now or the least amount of discomfort? Every situation—physical, emotional, or social—is fueled, directed, and regulated by the drug effect we are seeking from the brain’s own chemical pharmacy, and this pharmacy is open twenty-four hours a day! The timely release of the “feel good” chemicals in the brain underpins a healthy emotional balance.
However, scientist know that we humans often take bigger steps to avoid the pain of feeling bad than to pursue feeling good and you are going to learn to reverse that. When we are trying to ease discomfort we may chase a hit of any of these three neurochemicals, by reaching for ice cream, having sex, or sitting down to watch a good movie; the multi-taskers in the group may attempt all three at the same time. However, as we all have experienced the feelings are short-lived. That is because these neurochemicals have a job, and that is to push our behavior in a direction, not put us in a “good mood”. That good feeling is just like the proverbial carrot, always tempting us to chase another short-lived buzz and it can become a vicious cycle. We don’t want the buzz we want a sense of wellbeing. This even effects our eating habits as we often eat foods for comfort not to feed our hunger. ( A subject I will be tackling in a future blog that I am writing for Psychology Today)
#beliefs #stopstressing #behappy #happiness #happiness #anger #moodiness #amygdala #dopamine #serotonin #oxytocin #feelbetter #stopworrying #eckhartTolle #present #opinions #amygdala #emotions #perspectives # temper #rage, #outburst #fury #rage #stressrelief #reduceanxiety
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
As Your Brain Changes So Does Your Perspective
Dieting is another example of how beliefs/perception can alter people’s experience and outcome. In the first few months, many individuals become frustrated that they can’t eat the way others do. They may believe they are being deprived or even punished, causing a lowering of the feel-good chemicals, dopamine, and serotonin. However, if they stick with it, and begin to lose the weight, they feel better about themselves. Then their brains release hits of dopamine and serotonin whenever they just think about their new eating habits. (Why people go off their diet is a subject for an entire book). The job of these neurochemicals is to make us feel good when we do things that benefit us. The issue is that sometimes we have to teach our brains WHAT IS GOOD for us!
#beliefs #stopstressing #behappy #happiness #happiness #anger #moodiness #amygdala #dopamine #serotonin #oxytocin #feelbetter #stopworrying #eckhartTolle #present #opinions #amygdala #emotions #perspectives # temper #rage, #outburst #fury #rage
Tuesday, May 5, 2015
Nothing Stays The Same— Especially Your Brain!
We were taught in high school that if we drank alcohol, we would destroy brain cells that would never grow back. (Thank God that was wrong because it failed as a deterrent to our partying.) Now neuroscientists understand that every time we learn something new or even practice a skill repeatedly, the brain changes accordingly. Someone who has played piano or a stringed instrument will have a larger volume of area in brain dedicated to finger movement than the average person will have. This is neuroplasticity. On a grander scale, this process occurs in the brain of a blind person whose hearing develops way beyond what the normal range would be. The part of the brain that used to receive input from the eyes (called the occipital lobe)looks for another way to receive information, so it joins forces with the part of the brain used for hearing, increasing the amount of brainpower dedicated for hearing. Stroke victims can sometimes recover speech or movement because the undamaged portion of their brain begins learning the required action. However, the most magnificent illustration is that neurosurgeons have performed hundreds of hemispherectomies (removing half of a person’s brain) because of disorders that are uncontrollable in any other way. Unbelievably, the surgery has no apparent effect on personality or memory. Some of the patients are now in college doing very nicely; one such person became a champion bowler, and one is a chess champion of his state. I know what you are wondering now—and the answer is no, we can’t just have the sad part of the brain cut out. Thankfully, however, we won’t have to.
For the next month I am making this very generous offer to be a speaker at your club or organization at no cost to you!. That’s right FREE!.I will build the talk about my new book and the specifics of your group. You must book me this month for any future date at least 2 weeks out. Private message me for more info. Must be within 40 minute drive.
#beliefs #stopstressing #behappy #happiness #happiness #anger #moodiness #amygdala #dopamine #serotonin #oxytocin #feelbetter #stopworrying #eckhartTolle #present #opinions #amygdala #emotions #perspectives # temper #rage, #outburst #fury #rage
Monday, May 4, 2015
Put Yourself in a Good Mood!
All it takes to move your mood toward a positive one is simply reprograming it to focus on good the way it looks for problems. Acknowledging that something is good or counting your blessings is very different from taking ten to twenty seconds to dwell on it so you can feel it on an emotional level. A study published in 2010 reported that when experiencing positive events, focusing attention on the present moment and engaging in positive rumination promotes a sense of well-being. Conversely, being distracted while having a good experience lowers the sense of well-being. How many times have you taken a few seconds to replay a compliment over in your mind until you actually felt happy about it? Probably never. Have you ever taken ten seconds to replay a hug from your loved one and really feel touched by the love? Of course not. We tell ourselves that, those things are not important enough or live changing enough to give them our focus. But you have it backwards. Big things only make us feel better because WE ALLOW ourselves to FEEL them not just think about them. This is where everything changes! Feeling the good around you will permeate the emotional area in your brain where words cannot reach. You can’t talk your way into a good mood; you must feel your way. You will learn to deliberately seek and hold onto the positive things around you, allowing these observations to become amazing feelings that sink into your whole being.
Take twenty seconds right now to envision a person or pet showering you with love; Yes that means you. Put the book down. Really feel the love filling you. Did you feel the emotional lift? Now imagine carrying that feeling around most of the day. Can you picture how different you would feel if you did this regularly?
For the next month I am making this very generous offer to be a speaker at your club or organization at no cost to you!. That’s right FREE!.I will build the talk about my new book and the specifics of your group. You must book me this month for any future date at least 2 weeks out. Private message me for more info. Must be within 40 minute drive.
#beliefs #stopstressing #behappy #happiness #happiness #anger #moodiness #amygdala #dopamine #serotonin #oxytocin #feelbetter #stopworrying #eckhartTolle #present #opinions #amygdala #emotions #perspectives # temper #rage, #outburst #fury #rage
Friday, May 1, 2015
DO YOU KNOW WHY YOU REALLY GET ANGRY?
Wonder why you get angry so easy? The average person has between 32 and 48 thoughts per minute, according to the Laboratory of Neuro Imaging at the University of Southern California and the National Science Foundation. That can add up to a total of 70,000 thoughts per day! However, what is scary is that several studies have also shown that 80 percent of those thoughts are negative, and 90 percent of those are similar to the ones you had the day before! 90%! Now we all have genuine situations to deal with but at those times when your brain pushes the panic button and has you yelling over something small, I can assure you there is something else going on in your mind creating the firestorm, and probably something unrelated. At the early stage of getting upset, you generally have an inaccurate perception of what is angering you. Underlying thoughts and memories from the past often attach themselves to the things happening in the present, causing you to overreact. You may be ruminating on something upsetting that took place yesterday when you suddenly spill something and let out a stream of expletives. All the while, you are completely unaware of what really triggered your outburst.
In my new book I teach you how to separate an upsetting event from your ongoing undercurrent of worrisome thoughts. Only then will you be able to figure out what you are really feeling, and therefore how to feel better. Because that’s your brain, a never-ending stream of what ifs and worry about how life did or will go wrong. Welcome to the Worry-Go-Round™ The average person has between 32 and 48 thoughts per minute, according to the Laboratory of Neuro Imaging at the University of Southern California and the National Science Foundation. That can add up to a total of 70,000 thoughts per day! Several studies have also shown that 80 percent of those thoughts are negative, and 90 percent of which are similar to the ones you had the day before!
#beliefs #stopstressing #behappy #happiness #happiness #anger #moodiness #amygdala #dopamine #serotonin #oxytocin #feelbetter #stopworrying #eckhartTolle #present #opinions #amygdala #emotions #perspectives # temper #rage, #outburst #fury #rage
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